Open notes describing concepts in my mind

To share with a counsellor therapy person and future good friend(s).

I have anxiousness when my thinking goes with two (2) concepts:

1. I have the need to be knowing what's going on in the space around, afraid if
   I don't do that, I lose anything important, or I'm distracted - then I am
   not able to bring back some important thought of what to do next
   (doesn't come back, then things go wrong or fail, I can't go back?).

2. I'm thinking what I'm doing and don't want to lose my focus - then I can be
   impatient (not wait around), I feel tired or want to rest from communicating
   with people (introverted time - autistic quality) and dislike to think of my
   words choices to reply, this changes my thought focus.

I have what I feel is a cognitive impairment affecting memory functions
of my mind and ability to trust memories I have within. Being anxious
with some perfectionist thinking, under pressures, I don't know
to know the words I think conceptually are good to stop anything
going wrong, failing.

I dislike pressure when people think of oneself,
not to understand me (or some other person).

13/01 9:42am (2025)

"To put time to sleep, anesthesise time itself."
(thinking to have all the time I want or free use of my time )

15/01 2:34am

"I was going to be quick [outside] - but the shop was busier then
being quick, given me paranoid anxiousness for going back."

19/01 ~10am

"Sometimes I have no ...[energy?] to go quick and feel I don't have time to be slower either.
When I'm reaching tiredness and need to move from here in the entrance door to a place to sit
I was getting a little anxiousness for my memory - and impatient to move to the position quick,
I lose looking around me (in focus)."

31/01 6:03pm

"Pressured for time - [then] bad thinking."

02/02 8:27pm

"Going back (redoing) paranoid-ly when I put pressure on myself."

07/02 ~7:20am, 8:36am, 9:56am

"My anxiety is self-centered? If I wasn't so anxious I could be more selfless, like Jesus!
I'm sad that the one time I feel relaxed is more times than not, when I don't have
anything to do - no feelings of pressure."

"Some of the pressure could be from me wanting to keep being thoughtfully introverted
in this house of busier people."

08/02 11:14am

"Do what feels right and let go of active thinking."

09/02 4:09am

The 0.999... repeating decimal paradoxical mathematical equality.

14/02 11:29am

"I was sad that when my mind has anxiousness about memories and losing anything, I
actually lose what I'm doing (fail to keep memories of the present activity
to know after). Dislike that very much."

18/02 6:53pm

"Afraid of the 'threat' of... if people don't understand me, when I walk around outside.
Being quick [to/from] is avoidance, . Not having threats to address."

15/03 6:00pm

"I am annoyed with quick noises from anything. When tired, being not quick to act
to respond to this sensory information, this gives some anxious tension
to my mind."